coughing man

After the crushing blow of being called 'fat' a few weeks ago by a guy, I'm very happy that a weight expert has unfollowed me.

Either the weight expert thinks I've lost weight or she thinks I'm beyond help.

Speaking German in a Scottish accent is just one of my many useful talents you didn't know about.

That and my ability to say 'Bob' in the most convincing French accent you'll ever hear.

Today I look how I did back in 2008 - I spent a lot of that year convinced I was gay and dressed accordingly.

The other day, my frien said TFF in place of Tears For Fears. I still haven't recovered.

A man just cinematically leapt onto the train with seconds to spare. He thought he was superman.

There's a man coughing rather dramatically on the train.

Everyone is looking at each other.

Do we help?

I have nothing to offer him.

It's not like he's choking to death, he's taking breaths in between. But he's doing it loudly. Inconsiderate.

People read such trash. At least I pretend to be intelligent and read classics.

Granted, my phone is resting on the page and I'm tweeting.

Shut up coughing man. I am sick of your lies and desperate ploys for attention.

Claire is sans makeup with badly home-dyed hair. Wearing tracksuit- top and bottom. She is reading a Katie Price autobiography.

She went to great lengths when selecting which snack bar to eat.

She wishes she'd gone to such lengths when choosing her partner.

Now she goes out to work to support them both while he sits at home denying he has a weed habit.

Coughing man is, unsurprisingly, coughing.